Monthly Archives: February 2016

When they sit you down in a dark room with no windows and say words that weigh more than mountains, words that blind you with their Antarctic diagnosis of your hidden spaces, words that plunge you deep, deep under the … Continue reading →

To those of us who’ve sat in rooms with random magazines and clocks that run backwards wondering how we ever came to be on a plastic chair with tiny, invisible question marks crawling all over our skin. How long?  How … Continue reading →

There is that quiet when I am awake and the house is sleeping. A strange pause before the day opens its doors to lost shoes and unwanted socks.  Like holding my breath. Like drowning.   It’s not knowing how high … Continue reading →

Fireworks in the garden burst into shooting stars in awe at the red blue green rockets of just turned three year olds who dance for musical chairs and the many layers of pass the parcel. They hug and tumble and … Continue reading →

I have not felt lighter so am doubtful when she says it will give you a greater sense of balance before slipping the silicon into a white bra and helping me with the straps with that professional kindness I have … Continue reading →

Yesterday I felt a bit rattled by all that has happened and perhaps it’s the drugs or the lack of sleep, but I suddenly didn’t seem to be doing as well as I thought I was. You said, ‘Mammy, I … Continue reading →

You text me ‘how long have they said till you’re all healed and fighting fit.’ As if there is only summer and winter, living and dying.   Instead of this long bumpy road back to health with its tree roots … Continue reading →

There are wings in the window. I point out the great whiteness of the heron as he soars impossibly huge against a sky bruised with early evening. You say it’s already getting darker, the summer a fish slipping through our … Continue reading →

The crack of bubble wrap underfoot, your roly poly dance, drawing your hand in mine, the cutting up of diamonds. Our neighbour says ‘it’s good to see you looking so normal’ as she drives past me in our doorway struggling … Continue reading →

I wake to the silence of home. No beeps, no distant voices in corridors, no professional footsteps. Just the deep quiet of the countryside, which unnerved me when we first moved to the middle of nowhere, but now feels centred … Continue reading →